everyone's holding my happiness hostage
OK, it’s been a while, I guess I just didn’t feel like writing anything. This post will be very boring, as I have not much to say.
I am still f*cked up from Wednesday – Thursday – Friday … pretty impressive as it’s Tuesday today! I forgot what it was like to feel like this and I revel in my own misery.
I guess popping airplane pills (read: anti anxiety pills) like life savers suckers wouldn’t be beneficiary to my overall state of mind either. I mean, I stopped taking them as soon as my family left…. Oops that sounds really messed up. Truth is: My bro and his fiancee were over and stayed in my bedroom, so I had to sleep on the couch and my roommate’s baby was screaming and crying for 2 weeks straight. Those of you who don’t have babies can’t even start to phantom what it does to you. After 4 days of having no more than 1.5 consecutive hrs of sleep… you’ll start thinking bad evil thoughts… Sooo, I found some xanex and I have had the best sleeps. Waking up all fuzzy and nothing really matters… hungry as a horse… Yeah, those were good times. Of course I stopped as soon as I had access to my bedroom again. Which was last Friday. So I guess I am a bit emotional and sort of lifeless because of my short lived habit of popping pills.
So the mom, her b’friend and my bro and his fiancee were over from Holland. We had a great time.
Then my friends from Tahoe called that they were coming down for some party to promote their new line of outerwear and if they could stay in my house. Sure… no problem. I just have to kick out my wife, I mean.. roommate and her kid. So down they went… to Soho, for a short vacation… Needless to say… she was pretty pissed.
Ah well, what can I say… GIVE ME A BREAK!!
I am dealing with her laying in her bed the whole day and the baby freely roaming around, banging on my door, slamming my phone on the floor and crying when I close the door when I have to go to the bathroom… all out! This kid is loud. I tip toe through the house at night not to wake her or the baby up. She leaves both their bedroom doors open… so they can hear each other and then she gets pissed with me for going to the bathroom and the light shines in her room?? Oh and the other day… I was doing our laundry, there are like 5 pairs of jeans and numerous tracks, socks underwear, shirts, tanks etc. of mine in there (5 days worth of clothes) and her laundry?? 5 pairs of PJ’s?? WTF?? I mean case closed.
Yeah… I guess we need to talk… but not now. I am not feeling it.
The Tahoe people were fun! We went to the Signal – Grenade- SouthShore Soldiers Party on Orchard Street. I was on my usual (best) behaviour, talking so much smack and I even skated outside, impressing the boys… Or so I thought hahaha.
Ahum, like always good times, so I guess I had a sneak preview for coming Winter. I need to go out more are train myself in handling hangovers… hahaha… just kidding. Oh, my crush from last year, James showed up. He stayed at my place as well. He’s so cute. I told him I had a crush on him at camp. Yeah, what can I say, I was that drunk that night. Of course I would never hurt the boy. Number one, I would be thrown in jail for being a predator, number two the kid’s got a girlfriend.
Business wise: my business partner and I came to an agreement and he’s OUT! I am so glad, we are still friends, no hard feelings… I handled that well. I am waiting for the attorney to draw up some legal notes and I already dissolved the company and accounts affiliated with it. It feels like I am turning the pages and starting a new chapter. The site is finished, am just waiting for him to sign the paper and that’ll be it… (oh and writing 2 checks… one to him and one to the developers)
My myspace boyfriend and I are back ‘on’ again… It’s the safest relationship ever. He keeps me entertained during these long days of work – work – work and some skateboarding, a little jog etc.
Obviously, I still haven’t found a sugardaddy…. I haven’t really been actively searching for one, as I just have no clue on how to get one. I am sure there must be some books about it… “Finding a Sugardaddy for Dummies”. I will make a mental note to look into it after this posting hehe…
My weight, well after all those xanax inspired meals and drinks, I gained a whopping 8 pounds… but I am working hard to get that down again… So this morning I was back at 127. Seven more to go.
Acne wise, I am going through the break out period while being on Accutane, so I am not a very happy person, but hey, nothing I can’t handle. It’s still nothing like it was before, but I heard that this is what happens in the second month or so.
I have been skating a bunch, getting a bit better, falling a bit harder each day. Yesterday I fell on my side, so it felt like I got punched in the lungs. It was painful, I couldn’t breathe for a couple of seconds, but didn’t cry. My friends asked me in horror if I was ok. “yes” I said with my voice all trembling. What can I say… I took it like a champ.
It’s not easy to be in your pre midlife crisis.
I know that this posting has been one long complaint, tough shit. Tomorrow I will write about flowers and butterflies.
( and… No I do NOT need to get laid, neither am I PMS’ing )