MASCHA VAN TONGEREN

Last night I got a text message from one of skater friends, T.he’s a tall  & handsome Mexican kid. He hasn’t been himself over the last couple of days;  he went on a trip to Philly to declare his ever lasting love to his ex girlfriend, with negative outcome, resulting him going on a little bender… Anyway, if I wanted to come outside and go skate for a while, oh, and he’d buy me some hot chocolate, with marshmallows,  from the newly opened 7-11 store.  Obviously this was an offer I couldn’t refuse…

When I got there he told me what had just happened: a bunch of kids (like 15 or so) had attacked one of his friends and tried to steal their skateboards. The kids claimed they were ‘bloods’ and when they heard the police sirens, they took off, telling my friends that they’ll be back. It’s insane. I mean, I live around the corner from the park. I consider this area safe. It turns out that the projects are just about less than 10 minutes away from here and that’s where those kids live.

So, as I am listening to T. I see the two girls and their mom in the Park again. They are there almost every night, doing their homework, sitting, talking and their mom is watching them, buying them food from the convenience store etc. The girls are like 16 and 17, very proper, nicely dressed, clean brushed hair, no make up, no drugs, alcohol or boyfriends. They are friends with the rest of the skate crew. They are always out late.

Their mom is a kind of in your face type of woman, so she started to talk to me. Turns out she is 7 years older than I am, her daughters go to school in this area/ district. The schools are considered great schools and the girls are on ballet and drama, straight A students. I asked her where she lives. She said some area far far away from where we were and that’s why she is still here, they are waiting for a ride home. Every night. She said she has been looking for an apartment in this area as she doesn’t want her daughters to travel such a far distance to go back and forth to school, by themselves. I totally understand. Point is, she has been saying that for 2 years according to my friends. So my conclusion is that they are homeless. I feel sad, but also very proud and happy that those girls are the best behaved teens in the area. They seem to be much more driven to do better, study hard and make well thought of choices. So I asked the mother if there is anything I can do for her, because she seemed a bit confused and scattered. She needed to use a computer. So I told her she could use my laptop at home. She thanked me and said she would use the one in the hospital, as they know her there very well. The hospital is on the corner of the next block (always convenient). Then I saw her thinking and looking at me and she asked if I could do her a really big favor: Let her girls sleep in my place, so they wouldn’t have to stay up so late. I felt so bad.

I felt bad for a couple of reasons:

* I knew my wife, I mean roommate was not going to be happy that I was taking in two girls in for the night, or anyone for that matter. She is still mad and not talking to me. I felt that if it was up to me, they could stay in my room and I would sleep on the couch for a couple of nights… no prob. It made me sad that I could not just say yes, but had to inform her to sort of ask her permission. I feel bad that she is a mother herself and doesn’t even stop to think or offer a some support to someone who is doing her best and obviously can use some help.

* I felt bad for the mother. I mean, I let the girls sleep in my room, I slept on the couch and my roommate really could not say anything about it. It’s my room and we were quiet and respectful. I felt bad that I couldn’t offer her mom to stay as well. She must be going through such a hard time and she is doing such a great job with her daughters.

So yeah, they stayed here last night and left this morning. I am blessed, and so are you. Everybody should have a place to call home, to have a bed, a roof, especially kids. I feel humbled. My area, 3030 as we call it… is real. I talk to my skaterfriends and they open up about their lives here, their families, or lack thereof and once more I know that I was/am privileged in many ways. From the country I was born in, to the choices my parents made, things I took for granted, nothing was ever enough… then you hear these kids and all of a sudden I feel like I have been living in a big bubble.

It’s not that I feel sorry for them… sorry isn’t the word, I mean we all have sh*t in our lives, it’s up to you how to handle things when it happens, what choices you make to control the damage, to protect yourself and your family… I feel bad that the shit these kids have to deal with is because their parents failed in some ways to make the right choices as parents and therefore putting a huge burden on their childrens shoulders, sending them off to life with a big disadvantage.

I wish more people would care about the people around them.

Just think about it… try to help at least one person a day, be it with a smile, some change, a conversation, opening a door or just by listening and realize that we are all blessed and should be grateful for what we have and use our powers to do good… a small gesture can go a very very long way.

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